I hate making mistakes. I do it all the time, but I absolutely hate it. It's part of the reason I don't want to blog, tweet, facebook or do anything that risks a mistake. It's not that I think I'm perfect, I just don't like screwing up.
I used punctuation wrong today. I don't remember what I was supposed to learn in fourth grade. I found a spelling error on a sheet that we had professionally printed. I hate when I do things like this. I make a lot of mistakes. Apparently I don't want the world to know. Nobody has ever thought I was without blemish, but any error is a reminder of how badly I need to be redeemed.
I don't think I am the only person who lives like this. If we were guaranteed that we wouldn't fail we would have so much more fun. The truth is, I don't think it is even the failing that limits us. It is the fear of failing. I don't like to realize how fallen I am. Yet, without that realization, I don't see good He is. I mix up the story and blur the picture that my Hero is painting.
I've been thinking a lot about being "the salt and light." It would be a whole lot more appealing if we knew that we would be good at being the salt and light. We would be excited to share our faith if we knew we would do it right and not feel foolish. I would be all in if I knew I wouldn't make an error. I want to be shiny, not flawed. No wonder Jesus said He didn't come for the healthy but the sick. At least they are honest!
A friend of mine reminded me that the moon doesn't have its own light. It just reflects the light of the sun. Some nights, the moon is pretty bright. I've never wanted to be more like the moon than right now. I am full of errors. I have nothing to offer on my own. Still, I want to reflect the light of the sun. After all, He says that I am in Him. I am safe and secure there, errors and all. Once again, I'm grateful for His mercy.