Saturday, September 18, 2010

September's Random Interest

This month the random interest that I have is college football.  This isn't even one I'm just telling you about, but instead I'm going to try to sell you on it.  It is the best and here are my reasons why.

1.  If you are really good, one loss puts you in jeopardy, two ruins your season.  I've got five kids.  There's not enough time to watch a million games, keep it in my head and everything.  This way if the Longhorns win they are in it, if they lose they are in danger.  If they lose twice I grow a beard and mourn until next year.

2.  Uniforms and stadiums are crazy.  With the pros I feel odd commenting on uniforms.  It's just not manly.  In college football you can make your preference by simply choosing the "coolest" color.  My family chose their allegiance between Louisville and Kentucky mostly by debating whether red and black or blue uniforms are cooler.

3. Mascot brackets.  If you know nothing about football you can always invent a bracket out of the top 16 and simply decide which mascot would beat the other in a fight.  For instance, a Hurricane would always beat a Deacon.  The Deacon can pray, but seriously, how do you hurt a Hurricane.  (Miami would go undefeated simply by it's mascot choice except they choose to be an odd team.)  This is the reason there is an East Coast Bias.  Simply, who cares whether a Duck or Beaver is tougher.  They can have Oregon.
ps-Where this is tough is with shared mascots.  In cases like the Tigers (Auburn, LSU, Clemson) it all comes down to colors and logos.  Nikki picks Clemson because it looks like her high school logo.

4.  Fat guys make you look faster.  Speed is awesome in college because not everyone has it.  Have you ever played sports against someone like me?  It just makes you look awesome.  Well, a little of this happens in college football.  There is no way to get 150 teams stocked with world class athletes who are within 4 years of age and able to keep up grades and athletics without a paycheck.  This makes some people who just love to play, (and they make the teams worth watching) have vital roles on the team. They also make fast guys look even faster.

Now go watch football and enjoy!

1 comment:

  1. I love you more now than ever. Thanks for publicly airing all of this... I too am enthralled by college football uniforms and am very secure in my masculinity as well!